I want to go home I want to go home I want to go home.

Even the people who are familiar scare me now. I just want to be back home, in my own room... And I miss my big brother. He'd calm me down. It's funny... I hardly gave him a thought when I was here before, but when I went back home, we spent a lot more time together.

He promised he would take care of me.

Does he really see me as just his little brother, still? Or does he think of me as just a pathetic nutcase who he's obliged to take care of because we're related.

I want to call him, whenever I get scared, but I don't want him to see me as even more pathetic... But there's nobody here I'm able to go to... I'm all alone.

I can't even have the one thing that lets me calm down on my own...

I wonder how long a person can survive without food...

Would someone fat last longer than someone skinny, like me?

I hate it here...

So why was it so easy to settle back in? Same old habits, same old emptiness. I guess because being home wasn't any better.

I get why my parents wanted to get rid of me. But why here? It didn't help the first time.

I'm actually.. not spending all my time bored, lately. It's nice.

Umm... I'm not sure I'm allowed to say more than that about it *laugh* It's nothing bad~ Just a secret~~ And I don't think it will have to be one for much longer..

Ah, I've found that the less time I spend reading, the more I enjoy it when I do read *laugh* So even the time I'm all alone has gotten less boring.